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Sunday, 13 July 2025

Iran Claims Israel Used Magic to Win—Because Reality Was Too Embarrassing


In a stunning admission of incompetence, Iranian officials have unveiled their latest excuse for losing the 12-day war with Israel: *Jewish sorcery*.  


That’s right. Forget superior intelligence, cutting-edge technology, or elite military training. According to Tehran, Israel’s secret weapon was *genies*.  


Abdollah Ganji, a regime propagandist, insisted that a "strange phenomenon" (presumably Moses-level miracles) thwarted Iran’s mighty arsenal. Apparently, their missiles were hexed by mystical forces—because nothing says "credible military analysis" like blaming *jinn* for your failures.  


Meanwhile, here in reality:  


- An Israeli F-15, moments from a forced landing in Tehran due to a fuel malfunction, was saved by an emergency mid-air refueling—no magic, just precision.  

- Iran’s own president, Masoud Pezeshkian, was wounded in an Israeli strike on a high-security regime meeting—proving Israel can hit them *anywhere*.  


While Israel delivered strategic blows, Iran’s response was… an AI-generated meme of nuclear Armageddon. Because nothing says "we’re a rational global player" like *fantasizing about genocide*.  


So, let’s recap:  

🔹 Iran’s military: Outplayed.  

🔹 Iran’s leadership: Literally bleeding.  

🔹 Iran’s excuses: *"The Jews used spells!"*  


Netanyahu was right—this is a regime that would *use* a nuke, not just deter with one. And if they’re this desperate now, just wait until Israel (and reality) finishes the job.  


**Stand with the winners. Stand with Israel.**  

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